My Doraemon ❤️

Were you ever concerned about how others think about you? I’m sure you would have been at some point. I still spend almost 80% of my day thinking about what I’m going to do… and then nothing actually happens. I never had the confidence to present myself in society.

Starting from high school, I starved for attention. I liked talking to people. I liked having friends. But something always blocked me. It felt like everyone was pushing me away. At first, I thought it was because of how I looked. Later I realized it was because I didn’t speak much. After some time, I felt I lacked this “cool friend vibe.” Every time I kept searching for what my fault was… but the search never ended. Slowly, I got stuck.

I loved watching Disney shows, especially Doraemon. One of my favorite shows at that time. Why did I like it so much? Because it focused on a main character who was left out every time he wanted to be part of something. From others’ perspective, he was uncool. But he had a kind heart. He liked helping people. He loved playing with his friends. He was academically weak, and everyone kept bullying him and laughing at him for everything he did.

And then, later, he gets a robot from the future, a cat robot who helps him with all his troubles. A robot named Doraemon. The main character, Nobita, was someone I deeply related to. I loved watching all the episodes because they made me feel understood. Doraemon always stood by Nobita, liked him for who he was, and opened up a whole new world for him. Nobita wasn’t alone anymore.

I wished for someone like that too.

But in real life, I didn’t have a Doraemon. I couldn’t ask anyone for advice either. So I started avoiding people. Will there ever be someone like that? A friend maybe? Nah…

Five years passed. Nothing much changed. I did meet some people along the way, but never formed a real connection. Meanwhile, I watched others have friends and groups. One of my biggest challenges was communication. I never used abusive words, and I didn’t like hearing them either.

After 10th, I moved to another school for higher secondary. There were about 50 students in my class, but I still felt like an alien from another planet. Did I need to talk like them to be accepted? Did I have to use abusive language? Why were they using it so casually? I never understood. I couldn’t fit into any group. Everything felt toxic, but I still endured it for the first year.

Even though I hated it, I locked myself up emotionally and didn’t express how I felt. I still wanted to be part of something like going together, having lunch together, talking about new things. But our interests were completely different. Eventually, it started hurting me, and I realized I wasn’t being myself. So I backed out.

Then the bullying started. They laughed at me for how I looked. I’m tall, so what? What was I supposed to do about it? I hated it… I had felt this kind of attitude before, but never this painful. Maybe feelings grow more intense as we grow. I felt so much pain, alone. I even tried expressing it to my family, and that didn’t go well either. So that option also closed.

I had to find a remedy myself.

So I avoided everyone. That was the simplest solution. In my free time, I started watching K-dramas, anime, etc. I skipped classes and stayed at home all day. It felt better for my mental health.

But I hadn’t entirely given up.

In the last year, we had a school trip. I joined out of curiosity. Will it help? Nah… still the same.

Then came college preparations. I had one thing in my mind:

Don’t expect friends. Don’t form connections. Just study.

But things changed.

It was COVID time, so everything was online. I chose computer science because I love technology. (Why I took Biology in higher secondary… well, that’s a family matter, let’s skip that.) Now I was finally learning something I liked.

Since everything was online, people started chatting and forming groups. I tried talking to others. Even after all that self-motivation to avoid people, I still tried.

And surprisingly the interactions went well. They welcomed me.

At first I was like, Really? Is it this easy? People are actually taking interest in me?

I liked that feeling. People reached out to me before I reached out to them. That was a first. I felt needed.

But I was scared things would fall apart once offline classes started. I had sleepless nights. I wasn’t confident in real life — about my appearance, about everything. Would they still accept me? Would everything repeat again?

But offline also went well. People liked me. A lot of things happened. I joined NSS, made new friends, started going out with them, having lunch, watching movies, talking about upcoming movies. It all felt amazing. I was inside the circle, not outside.

And eventually… I found my own Doraemon among them. Someone who opened a new perspective in my life. I started upgrading myself, becoming a newer version of me.

In short, I improved.

Then my biggest fear came back, losing Doraemon. Would everything end after college? Would everyone drift apart? That fear killed me for a while. I overthought, started unnecessary fights, and spoiled some moments. I regret that.

But things still turned out fine.

Even after college, I still have my Doraemon with me.

Tadaaa…

I’m really grateful for that.

And here’s a secret:

You don’t have to worry about losing your Doraemon. If they are meant for you, they’ll stay. It won’t break easily.

;)

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is:

Never give up.

If you really want a Doraemon in your life, you will find someone. And that person will be your treasure for a lifetime. Keep them close.

My awakening… my new world… my new perspective…

:)